Hitting a Wall, Shifting Energy
This week was my Sweetheart husband's birthday. It's the second one since he transitioned into Spirit and I'm never quite sure how to handle these days. I feel a bit lost. Last year my best friend and I went out for a sushi and a long car ride. It felt so good to be with someone who loved Curt, too and had stories to share about him. This year, thanks to covid-19 that wasn't an option. So frustrating!
I didn't have a plan for the day. I just couldn't handle making a plan. I felt emotionally locked up and frozen, just couldn't think. Maybe you can relate?
I've been feeling overwhelmed with emotions after losing my friend to ovarian cancer, the scary wildfires that are affecting friends and family and the intense energy in the world. Honestly, I spent most of Labor Day weekend laying on the couch watching a Friday Night Lights marathon. I was just Being with how I was feeling, going inward and still.
Sunday came and I found a slice of willingness to feel a little better. I did some EFT (Tapping) and moved around the house a bit. Moving the energy and my body felt hopeful in some way. That little bit of movement sparked an idea to honor and remember my Sweetheart- with racquetball.
When we first lived together our apartment complex had a racquetball court and we had so much fun playing together. He was so competitive, but in a jovial way. In the final year of his life, we joined a local gym that had a court and we played again. He was still competitive though his body was so limited. It was disheartening for both of us, but it was still fun to be moving together.
So I decided to honor his memory by playing again. I had found an outdoor court at a park near a friend's house just last week and knew that wasn't a coincidence. I've been to that park before, but never noticed the outdoor racquetball court. It was A Sign.
Once I decided on this plan, I noticed that my Energy had shifted in a positive way. I felt a spark of joy, bit of excitement and my body relaxed some. It was a powerful discovery for me. Just a tiny bit of willingness to move followed by actual movement brought a wonderful shift in my Energy! Has that ever happened to you?
So I celebrated and honored my husband's birthday yesterday by hitting a wall, literally. It was hot, but not as humid as it usually is in Memphis so it felt pretty decent outside. Being outside is always good for me. I especially liked the feeling of walking on the grass when I missed the wall and had to track down my ball.
Yep, that's right- I missed that huge wall in the picture several times. Never said I was GOOD at racquetball. ha! Those are the pickleball rackets we had used together... and yeah that's a racquetball not a pickleball ball. That's how I roll. There's me finding some joy in movement and memories of my Sweetheart. Note that I'm not wearing a mask because there was no one else at the park, but I had it in my bag just in case.
That evening I realized that I had done a pretty good job taking care of myself and honoring what I was feeling without pressuring myself to feel better. All the "work" I'm doing to be gentler with myself, love myself and listen to my Inner Voice is showing up in life in organic ways now. It's an incredible affirmation and it's helping me build more trust in myself.
Infusing my daily Intentions into my essential oil bracelet is a big part of the "how" I'm doing this work. A simple and quick choice bracelet and oil choice in the morning is sowing intentional love into myself. It helps me shift my energy a million times a day and all that shifting is serving me so beautifully when heavy challenges come up.
I sincerely hope that Infusion Jewelry is serving YOU in a similarly powerful love-shifting way.